The Last Desperate 10 Pounds

 

 I have dropped a considerable amount of weight over the past several years.  For sometime I busted my ass and got my "swoll" on everyday at the gym then all of a sudden...WHAM!...I hit a wall. 

 

 

 

 





Unfortunately without much regret,  I spent the last year ingesting whatever the hell I wanted and craved!  Of course it came back to bite me.  I just wish it would have taken a large chunk of my ass and bu-thigh with it!! 

 

 

 

With summer peeking around the corner I decided it was in the best interest of the general public that I get my booty back into shape. Out of shear desperation to lose the last dreaded 10 pounds which really equals 15 in Amie's mathematical world, I fell for Dr. Oz's latest weight loss ploy...Garcinia Cambogia or should  I say, "GARCINIA BOGUS"!  My goal was to accomplish weight loss with minimal effort.  I quickly ordered the desired product hoping they still had plenty of it in stock.   According to the website they were running out fast due to the air time it was receiving from Doc. OZ.  I happily paid the $60 because I was POSITIVE this snake oil remedy was the answer to my prayers!

The anticipation was killing me as I waited for this miracle in a jar to arrive!  I envisioned my plump, round body transforming into the sleek,  goddess-like figure that it was meant to be!   

 After 10 days or so the "magic potion" finally arrived.  I took it faithfully everyday for 2 weeks with absolutely no results!  I couldn't believe it!  I had been DUPED!!  Imagine my dismay! 

 

Since then...I have solemnly swore off weight loss gimmicks forever and have returned to the "old school" way of getting back into shape.  Hard work, self- discipline(my weakest attribute), eating healthy and lots of sweat!  It also helps that my best girly, Jolie knew exactly what I needed and made sure I was equipped with the proper "Chill Out and Get Healthy" guide.

 

Here's to clean eating for at least a couple of days because it's almost Friday!

 

 

 

Tapestry of Life

As I stood before my Maker, I knelt before Him along with the other souls.  We laid out our lives, like squares in a quilt.  An angel sat before us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.  But, as my angel took my squares, I noticed how ragged they were.  Some where filled with giant holes.  Each square represented a part of my life that had been difficult...the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life.  I saw hardships that I had endured, which were the largest holes of all.

 

I glanced around me and nobody else had such tattered squares.  Sure others had tiny holes here and there but their tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune.  I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.  My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.  Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light...the scrutiny of truth.  The others arose, each in turn, holding up their tapestries.  So filled their lives had been.

 

My Angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise.  My gaze dropped to the ground in shame.  I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes.  I had love in my life, as well as laughter.  But there had been trials and tribulations, false accusations, illnesses and even death that took from me my world as I knew it.  I had to start over many times.  I often struggled with trying to quilt again.  Somehow I mustered the strength to pick up and begin again.  And now, I had to face the truth...my life was what is was and I had to accept it for what it had been.

 

I arose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.  An awe-filled gasp filled the air.  I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.  Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me.  Light flooded the many holes, creating an image of Christ.  Then the Lord stood before me with warmth and love in His eyes.  He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My Life, My hardship and My struggles.  Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you. 

 

-Author Unknown-

 

I answered my own question regarding yesterdays blog.  I can't wait for judgement, karma or consequence's to bring justice to the unjust.  When my quilt becomes ripped and torn along the way, I will take the time to repair my tapestry by sewing a patch of wisdom using the thread of inner strength, love, peace and goodwill because in the end it is my life that will be on display.

Karma, Justice or Consequence?

 

 

As I sit her sipping on my mornings coffee, refreshed from my nice long, hot and exhilarating shower which by the way felt completely amazing because I hadn' t showered in like.....ummm...3 days!  I  contemplate the meanings of karma, justice and consequences.

 

Growing up in a Christian home we were taught not to put value in other belief systems and to believe only what the Bible states.  But the Bible teaches a form of "karma" and "just law" doesn't it?  The Word of God is full of consequences if we don't not obey it or if we sin against our fellow man or vice versa.  God will judge us according to our actions. 

 

I give you the following:

 

 -Consequences according to the Bible-

 

Matthew 7:1-2

"Judge not, that you be not judged.  For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it, it will be measured to you".

 

Luke 6:31

"As you wish others would do to you, do so to them".

(the good ole golden rule)

 

-The Meaning of Karma-

 

Karma:  (Hinduism/Buddhism) Fate is the result of one's actions in successive incarnations. 

 

-The Governed Law-

 

Justice:  Fairness; rightness

 

They are all very similar in my book.  I want to believe that their is justice, karma or consequences for peoples evil actions but in my opinion the 3 don't exist.  They sound good in theory and I suppose they are designed to help bring us a sense of peace or comfort when we go thru hard times or experience difficulties because someone has done us wrong. 

 

I reckon I am impatient when it comes to justice. I assume I have to be six feet under for it to happen.  HELL,  I don't know!!   But one thing is for certain....I am sick and tired of people mistreating others strictly because they are selfish, arrogant and mean spirited! 

 

In the mean time I will continue to hypothesize about such actions!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Dish Pan Hands

For those of you who have said, "washing dishes by hand is therapeutic",  STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Magic Mike" take me away

(insert disclaimer here)

*Mike not Michael*

 

 

 

 

 

If I could be transported back in time I would bitch slap the hell out of Madge for simply implying that washing dishes with Palmolive is like getting a manicure.  Not sure what her idea of a mani is but I guarantee you it is not the same as mine! 

 

 

 

 

My Reality

(almost 2 months without a dishwasher)

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Wet Dreams

 

 

 

But it could be worse...

 

 

"GASR"

Gingers Against Slow Repairmen

 

 

 

 

My solution regarding MY horrific situation...

 

 

 

 

 

 



Cold Weather is for the???......

I am SO ready for warmer weather.  Funny thing...when the kids were growing up Mike and I were all about winter sports. We involved our kids in as many of them as possible. We were constantly driving up to Powederhorn to ski and snowboard.  We took several annual trips to Winter Park and skied till the lifts shut down.  Those days are long gone!   

The other day while I was in the garage I happened to spy my skiing apparatus in the corner and for a fleeting moment I entertained the idea of actually using it this year but the thought quickly faded when the chill of the air hit my skin and I hurriedly retreated back into the house.  

Last Wednesday Mike and I hunkered down for a netflix marathon.  Our first pick was "The Grey".  Five minutes into the movie I realized this was not a good choice!  I was cold as it was and to sit and watch a movie that takes place out in the wilds of Alaska in well below freezing temperatures with a wind chill factor of -200 while dudes get attacked my a pack of wolves was definitely not ideal!  It was pure torture! 


Hell,  even tromping out to my hot tub is not optional these day because it is too damn cold when you get out.  Plus you have to take a piping hot shower just to warm up from the trek back from the hot tub as if my skin isn't already pruned enough!

Now a days winter is only good for storing fat like a hibernating momma bear(lord knows I don't need anymore of that) and curling up next to the fire with a good book and a cocktail.  Needless to say, I have yet to read a good book this winter.  I have a couple on the shelf that I need to blow the dust off of and crack open but simply drinking cocktails is enough for me at this point.   

Currently, I find myself starring out the window at the frozen, dirty snow cursing its presence and day dreaming of extreme hot summer days while floating in my pool and sipping on adult beverages.  I long to be able to sleep with my bedroom window open with my covers rolled down while listening to the sounds of  summer as it puts me to sleep instead of wrapping up in flannel, fuzzy socks and layers of bedding. 

I believe it is safe to say...the older I get the less tolerable of winter I become.  Retirement with a much warmer climate can not come fast enough!!!

Random Thoughts for the Day.....

My bedroom is really a "closet"  with a bed in the middle.

I want to aspire to be like "cardio bunny".

It sucks to suck!

I tucked and rolled off the chuck wagon but can't quite jump off the booze train.

It either needs to dump more snow or warm up enough to melt this crunchy, dirty white crap!


Tomorrow is Sprouts grand opening and I am thinking about going.  I know!  Exciting, huh? !


Fang Smay is the look I am going for these days!


Off  to fix din din but we may do take out from the Chin Chin........ 

The Dreaded Condiment Clean Out

Seriously!  How do I save myself from myself!?  As if I don't have enough to do right before Christmas, I choose to tackle the dreaded, slimmy, crude encrusted condiments that have dominion over my fridge.  You all know exactly what the heck I am talking about.  You have your basic condies that don't ever expire because you use them all the time such as mustard, mayo, salad dressing and ketchup.  Then there is the condies that you break out when company comes a calling like pickles, olives and salsa.  BUT the most maddening of them all... the condi that is needed for that one special recipe you have been dying to try which requires you to buy a whole damn jar of the stuff for one measly tablespoon that supposedly provides the "WOW" factor to the recipe.

 

So, here in lies the INSANITY...more than likely you won't ever use this particular condi again because the dish you created was a big, fat FAIL but by gawd you don't dare throw it away because it cost money therefore you feverishly search the Internet to find another recipe where this rare and precious condi can by used again, RIGHT?  WRONG!  You just end up leaving it in the fridge until it expires.  Then and only then do you feel justified in finally being able to toss it without hesitation or guilt, RIGHT?   OH HELL NO!  Now another problem has been created!!  In my sick lil mind I am thinking of how I can re purpose these jars.  Hmmmm...  perhaps I will start making my own spices because those would make great containers for that or maybe some home brewed moonshine???  Oh boy!  My head is spinning from the endless possibilities these condi containers could provide but then reality reaches up and punches me in the face and reminds me, "this is why you have recycling dumb ass"!  Phew!  Once again I am saved from myself!!